Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
