You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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