Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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