I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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