we made out on top of his cat.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
