We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
