Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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