Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
