I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
