it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
