i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
