508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
