laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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