i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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