I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
