Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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