i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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