It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
