Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
