Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize