so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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