I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
