That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
