I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
