okay pat passed out under dana's car
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
