I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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