I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
