Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
