Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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