My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
