i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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