Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
she smelled like a LAN party
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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