Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Reggie can tackle my bush.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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