Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just googled if crying burns calories
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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