I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
