So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
