i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize