So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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