Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
