Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize