I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
