so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
