how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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