Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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