Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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