my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
