hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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