I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
