There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize