Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
