Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
