I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
