Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
