I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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