I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
