I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
