Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
