I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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