I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
