Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
