Kiss
Puke
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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