It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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