I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
