his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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