omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
