dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
