I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
And he claims I gave him āfuck meā eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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