ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
